Wednesday, June 30, 2010

HEY LADIES: Check your PDAs.

SKETCHY CLUB, VG: I was totally checking you out, woman, so I sent a txt msg to your phon. You know you got it, so why don't you give it a look / listen? Yes, it's one of those ultra high-powered 3D ones. It will totally wrangle you in and make you want to have smiles with me. We like to look happy, don't we? And wouldn't we do so together much? I think so.

I know that I'm reasonably cute, so we could totally work it out. And of course I'm crazy for you, lady, so this can be great if you would do me a solid and return the favour. Btdubs, I'm not sure what you call you. Woman? Lady? Gal? Female? Obvs you're no girl because you're older than a teenager.. though hopefully not by much, ha! Because I don't date anyone who's more than 1/5 my age!! And I'm quite old!

I mean, not that old. But yeah, I'm around 400 years old. And I'm sorry, but I am!! No!! I'm not going to apologize just for being who I am. This is me. If you can't see me, then you're missing the whole picture, babe. I am a person, and [[steps onto milk crate]] if this is not the person who can photo yourself being with, then golly dashart, this is not AMERICA! [[massive cheering and applause]]

So what u doin tonit?

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