NIGHTCLUB, MAIN ST: Two celebrities were discovered holding hands last night while walking down the street. They had never been seen together until now. So, it's official. We're letting people know that not only are they dating, but they have eloped, married and had a whole litter of bouncing beautiful babies. We wish them the best of luck.
One of the celebrities was interviewed, saying on record (and I quote): "Yeah we are good friends, and I like when we spend time together." The other one challenged that assumption with, "Oh him? I actually was losing my balance, and he reached out to grab my hand and pull me back up. We probably had skin-to-skin contact for all of about, what? Like four seconds."
Oh, but it was the four seconds heard [Ed. Note: "seen"?] around the world. We at the media elite headquarters are utterly shocked and never would have predicted in a million years that these two would have ended up together. Seriously. If we spent a whole million years trying to guess which to stars would end up as a couple, these two never would have crossed our minds.
In other news, we believe we may have spotted another illogical grouping of people down the street as well. We're heading over there to investigate, and we'll get back to you shortly, or not at all!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
MISSING WITNESS
THIS JUST IN: We have a missing witness. We're sorry. Nobody's perfect. As always, we'll give you more details as we come across them. Until then, we shall continue to both speculate and ask open-ended questions, letting you know what we don't know. Thanks for bearing with us.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
SPOTTED: soce pushes buttons on piece of plastic
AKVILIGJUAQ, NUNAVUT: We have recently received word that Mr. Soce (US, NYC) has been seen walking about the street and pushing various buttons on a piece of plastic. It may be partially metallic as well, or there could be some glass. Perhaps it is just clear plastic. We're not quite sure what he's doing or why.
At times, he is smiling, other times looking woeful. Recently, he switched from using his thumbs and is now poking at it using other fingers. Perhaps he may begin using his nose or elbows. Well, probably not. I mean, the buttons don't appear to be all that big. Plus then he'd have a hard time seeing the screen. I mean, really.
There was a witness who noted the color of the machine he was holding, but we apologize as we recently lost him. In fact our next article is going to be about a missing witness, so I guess that's a bit of a heads up.. If you know of a man who's missing, then please by all means report to us, just as we have been reporting to you. But perhaps don't report to us about soce and his mysterious box-type thing.. Let us know about the absent witness instead.
In other news.. Oh wait, soce appears to have put the piece of plastic in his pocket. No, oops he's taken it back out again. It seems the plastic tablet has a bit of control over his life. I wonder what it does. We are currently reporting that we have no idea what it's for, but we will continue to tell you what we do and don't know. For instance, we're not sure if it's square or round, or it may possibly be a rounded square.
I believe that it does something. I mean, it would be silly if he were just pushing buttons all day on a lifeless object that made nary a sound or image, amirite, folks? Maybe it delivers some information or else helps him out in a way. It could be a form of entertainment, although he mostly seems to curse at it. Hold up. I just heard him say, "Dog-gonnit!!!" He sounds pretty mad. Oh wait. I believe *I* am that missing witness we discussed earlier. Mystery solved. Hey, where's my film crew?
At times, he is smiling, other times looking woeful. Recently, he switched from using his thumbs and is now poking at it using other fingers. Perhaps he may begin using his nose or elbows. Well, probably not. I mean, the buttons don't appear to be all that big. Plus then he'd have a hard time seeing the screen. I mean, really.
There was a witness who noted the color of the machine he was holding, but we apologize as we recently lost him. In fact our next article is going to be about a missing witness, so I guess that's a bit of a heads up.. If you know of a man who's missing, then please by all means report to us, just as we have been reporting to you. But perhaps don't report to us about soce and his mysterious box-type thing.. Let us know about the absent witness instead.
In other news.. Oh wait, soce appears to have put the piece of plastic in his pocket. No, oops he's taken it back out again. It seems the plastic tablet has a bit of control over his life. I wonder what it does. We are currently reporting that we have no idea what it's for, but we will continue to tell you what we do and don't know. For instance, we're not sure if it's square or round, or it may possibly be a rounded square.
I believe that it does something. I mean, it would be silly if he were just pushing buttons all day on a lifeless object that made nary a sound or image, amirite, folks? Maybe it delivers some information or else helps him out in a way. It could be a form of entertainment, although he mostly seems to curse at it. Hold up. I just heard him say, "Dog-gonnit!!!" He sounds pretty mad. Oh wait. I believe *I* am that missing witness we discussed earlier. Mystery solved. Hey, where's my film crew?
Sunday, August 16, 2009
SOMETHING: soce dances at club
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, STATE: "Well, first, he put his left foot in... But in what?" pensively asks a man whose name we forgot. "I think it was in the middle of the dance floor, but it easily could have been on his way to either the bar or the bathroom. I think at one point, he ordered a drink and maybe even tried to talk to someone there."
Later on, while he was filling out his information on a form (which we subsequently lost... sorry!), our witness filled us in on the following tidbit: "I remember it being quite dark in the club, and I was a bit buzzed, so it may have been someone else."
Nevertheless, other corroborate his story by claiming they say "a man" who was "around six feet tall", with "brown hair" and "a mustache", as well as "the rest of his beard too" "walking" around "the" "club". Also they claim that soce knew how to cut a rug, or at least he told many other patrons that he did, even showing them samples of various types of carpeting.
"I wasn't in the mood to purchase his wares that night," someone told 'us', "However, he does have quite an intriguing pitch. He said that if we bought one, we could get another as well. Not half-off, not free, but just that we were allowed to buy more than one floor covering at a time, which I guess was pretty cool. They would still ship separately."
Some of the other moves soce busted out [[Ed note: We're not supposed to use slang in this here article! Please fix before final printing!!!]] included the doo-wop, the hip-de-dip, the shamalama-ding-dong, the hop-de-bop, the superman, the sprinkler, the carton swing and crowd surfing, which mostly consisted of him jumping into the arms of that same man over and over again.
When further questioned, said man didn't want us to quote him, but told us practically verbatim that he thought soce was just messing with him, although perhaps it meant something more. He then thought about a funny joke his aunt once told him and burst out laughing while simultaneously walking away from us backward. We weren't quite sure what to make of it.
Later on, while he was filling out his information on a form (which we subsequently lost... sorry!), our witness filled us in on the following tidbit: "I remember it being quite dark in the club, and I was a bit buzzed, so it may have been someone else."
Nevertheless, other corroborate his story by claiming they say "a man" who was "around six feet tall", with "brown hair" and "a mustache", as well as "the rest of his beard too" "walking" around "the" "club". Also they claim that soce knew how to cut a rug, or at least he told many other patrons that he did, even showing them samples of various types of carpeting.
"I wasn't in the mood to purchase his wares that night," someone told 'us', "However, he does have quite an intriguing pitch. He said that if we bought one, we could get another as well. Not half-off, not free, but just that we were allowed to buy more than one floor covering at a time, which I guess was pretty cool. They would still ship separately."
Some of the other moves soce busted out [[Ed note: We're not supposed to use slang in this here article! Please fix before final printing!!!]] included the doo-wop, the hip-de-dip, the shamalama-ding-dong, the hop-de-bop, the superman, the sprinkler, the carton swing and crowd surfing, which mostly consisted of him jumping into the arms of that same man over and over again.
When further questioned, said man didn't want us to quote him, but told us practically verbatim that he thought soce was just messing with him, although perhaps it meant something more. He then thought about a funny joke his aunt once told him and burst out laughing while simultaneously walking away from us backward. We weren't quite sure what to make of it.
Friday, August 14, 2009
HEADLINE: soce buys groceries
WASILLA, AK: Last night, soce, the elemental wizard (a/k/a soce, TEW) was spotted at a grocery store. Fellow patrons believed that he was carrying a baby on his chest. On closer inspection, it turned out that it wasn't.
People believe he may have purchased milk, as well as eggs, but they are unsure whether or not they were organic, field-raised, cage-raised, grass-fed or mutation-fed. Also it's unclear whether or not they were white or brown.
"He spent a very long time in the cereal isle," contends claims-adjuster Duncan Federline. "I kept waiting for him to move onto another isle, but he just stayed there. Eventually I had to go elsewhere myself. I mean, it's fun enough to just spend all day watching one of my most favorite celebs, but I got kids to feed, and they're not going to have any food unless I finish shopping at this here grocery store."
Later on, soce purchased some ice cream.
Interestingly enough, he did not end up using a shopping cart, instead piling a few goods into a hand-held basket. At the checkout line, he pulled out a bunch of plastic bags from his pocket. They were all from different stores, but he was able to fit all of his groceries inside.
Meredith Clancy iReported: "I guess it's good that he did his part to help save the environment a little bit. After all, 'no trans fats' is a rule I think we should always follow. Wait, what were we talking about?" [[Editor's Note: We were very upset at Meredith's response, but we decided to keep it in nonetheless. Now, how's that for integrity!]]
Also, some other stuff happened, we think.
People believe he may have purchased milk, as well as eggs, but they are unsure whether or not they were organic, field-raised, cage-raised, grass-fed or mutation-fed. Also it's unclear whether or not they were white or brown.
"He spent a very long time in the cereal isle," contends claims-adjuster Duncan Federline. "I kept waiting for him to move onto another isle, but he just stayed there. Eventually I had to go elsewhere myself. I mean, it's fun enough to just spend all day watching one of my most favorite celebs, but I got kids to feed, and they're not going to have any food unless I finish shopping at this here grocery store."
Later on, soce purchased some ice cream.
Interestingly enough, he did not end up using a shopping cart, instead piling a few goods into a hand-held basket. At the checkout line, he pulled out a bunch of plastic bags from his pocket. They were all from different stores, but he was able to fit all of his groceries inside.
Meredith Clancy iReported: "I guess it's good that he did his part to help save the environment a little bit. After all, 'no trans fats' is a rule I think we should always follow. Wait, what were we talking about?" [[Editor's Note: We were very upset at Meredith's response, but we decided to keep it in nonetheless. Now, how's that for integrity!]]
Also, some other stuff happened, we think.
Friday, July 24, 2009
SHOCKING!! soce attends book-signing
MONTPELIER, VT: It was with great surprise that we came across soce at a local bookstore. There was an in-store reading that night at 7pm. soce showed up at 6pm and wandered about, aimlessly. A few minutes later, he approached someone who was working near the entrance.
"Well first thing he does is he asks me, 'Hey ahhh, is there like a, ahhh, ummm a book reading tonight?' And I tells him, I says, 'Okay man, you're gonna wanna go to the back of the store and then hook a left over by the sign that points to the special events area," maintained Dean Krantz, who was running security detail that night.
He then proceeded to work his way back over there, although he cut across a few aisles instead of just going straight down the projected path. When he arrived, he could see a few others were already waiting around at the rows of chairs that were already set up. There was also a stage, presumably for the author, plus some of the authors books on display as well.
Marianella Paropel, who along with others was helping to run the special event that night told us in a super-exclusive interview: "Yeah I saw this guy, and he came over to the books that were on display. He then asked me how he could get his hands on a copy. Was he supposed to take one of these, then go all the way back to the cash registers to purchase it, then go back all the way to hear or what? I told him no, don't do that at all.
"What he needed to do was go back to the checkout line, but NOT grab any of these display copies, because they would have additional copies on the shelves behind the registers that were meant for purchase, and that way we wouldn't need to restock these display copies. That man the walked away, presumably to do what I told him to do.
"Although I will say this," she added, pausing for effect and even taking a moment to whip out her notepad and draw a sketch of a flying monkey. "Some other people actually did grab display copies. I then did have to refill the shelves before the author got up to speak. The things I do around here."
Witnesses say that after soce finally purchased his own copy of the book, he was seen sitting down in one of the chairs, not too close to the stage, but not too far away either. They believe he even went as far as to open up the book and stare intensely at the pages, turning them every few minutes. It's unclear whether he was actually reading the words on the page or just utilizing his superior acting skills in order to fool anyone nearby.
Eventually the author came over, read a passage from his book and did some q & a. Then there was the signing. Paropel had this to say about it: "Well, we didn't want any sort of mad rush to the stage, because you know how people get after they hear one of their favorite authors speak. So we have this system, you see? We pull people up, row by row. And to make sure the author gets their name right when he signs it, we ask for that person's name and then write it on a post-it that we put inside the book, on the page that includes both the book's title and the author's name.
"Normally, people just told me their names. But when soce came up, he spelled it out for me as "s-o-c-e". Which was good, because I would've probably written 'sossaeugh' if he hadn't specified. Oh, and also!!!" she sputtered out after we had already finished shutting off our tape recorder, forcing us to turn it back on, "We needed to check to make sure people had receipts to our store before letting them get their books signed. Can't just have people buying his book elsewhere and expecting us to let them sign it here! Yiikes, what is this.. the seventies??? Free love and all that crap? Don't come around here looking for no hand-out."
soce looked pretty meek while he stood in line, as though he didn't want to cause any problems. Perhaps he was trying to figure out what to discuss with the author when it was his turn. Or perhaps he was deciding whether or not to get a delicious magic bar at the bookstore's bakery or just get a leek quiche instead, followed by some fresh berries purchased from Whole Foods. Who knows.
Before he reached the front of the line, soce was seen handing off his book to someone who worked at the store. That person then handed the book to the author. soce and the author had a brief conversation. The author apparently recognized soce from previous online correspondences. He initially made the rookie mistake of calling him "So-Cheh", but soce quickly responded that most people think that's how to pronounce his name, so he is used to it, even going so far as to joke that "soce" is actually just a made-up name with a made-up correct pronunciation. As if!!!
Then they discussed some other stuff, such as the future of hip hop music, and soce went merrily on his way. Someone who followed him out of the bookstore and into the subway system [ed note: Montpelier has subways??] heard him say outloud.. "Hmm.. I normally carry my iPod or Nintendo DS with me.. but today, I have neither. If only there was something I could do to pass the time. Oh wait, I have this book I just bought. Fancy that." And then he opened up the book and read it (or perhaps simply stared blankly at the pages) until his train came. More details as we find out.
"Well first thing he does is he asks me, 'Hey ahhh, is there like a, ahhh, ummm a book reading tonight?' And I tells him, I says, 'Okay man, you're gonna wanna go to the back of the store and then hook a left over by the sign that points to the special events area," maintained Dean Krantz, who was running security detail that night.
He then proceeded to work his way back over there, although he cut across a few aisles instead of just going straight down the projected path. When he arrived, he could see a few others were already waiting around at the rows of chairs that were already set up. There was also a stage, presumably for the author, plus some of the authors books on display as well.
Marianella Paropel, who along with others was helping to run the special event that night told us in a super-exclusive interview: "Yeah I saw this guy, and he came over to the books that were on display. He then asked me how he could get his hands on a copy. Was he supposed to take one of these, then go all the way back to the cash registers to purchase it, then go back all the way to hear or what? I told him no, don't do that at all.
"What he needed to do was go back to the checkout line, but NOT grab any of these display copies, because they would have additional copies on the shelves behind the registers that were meant for purchase, and that way we wouldn't need to restock these display copies. That man the walked away, presumably to do what I told him to do.
"Although I will say this," she added, pausing for effect and even taking a moment to whip out her notepad and draw a sketch of a flying monkey. "Some other people actually did grab display copies. I then did have to refill the shelves before the author got up to speak. The things I do around here."
Witnesses say that after soce finally purchased his own copy of the book, he was seen sitting down in one of the chairs, not too close to the stage, but not too far away either. They believe he even went as far as to open up the book and stare intensely at the pages, turning them every few minutes. It's unclear whether he was actually reading the words on the page or just utilizing his superior acting skills in order to fool anyone nearby.
Eventually the author came over, read a passage from his book and did some q & a. Then there was the signing. Paropel had this to say about it: "Well, we didn't want any sort of mad rush to the stage, because you know how people get after they hear one of their favorite authors speak. So we have this system, you see? We pull people up, row by row. And to make sure the author gets their name right when he signs it, we ask for that person's name and then write it on a post-it that we put inside the book, on the page that includes both the book's title and the author's name.
"Normally, people just told me their names. But when soce came up, he spelled it out for me as "s-o-c-e". Which was good, because I would've probably written 'sossaeugh' if he hadn't specified. Oh, and also!!!" she sputtered out after we had already finished shutting off our tape recorder, forcing us to turn it back on, "We needed to check to make sure people had receipts to our store before letting them get their books signed. Can't just have people buying his book elsewhere and expecting us to let them sign it here! Yiikes, what is this.. the seventies??? Free love and all that crap? Don't come around here looking for no hand-out."
soce looked pretty meek while he stood in line, as though he didn't want to cause any problems. Perhaps he was trying to figure out what to discuss with the author when it was his turn. Or perhaps he was deciding whether or not to get a delicious magic bar at the bookstore's bakery or just get a leek quiche instead, followed by some fresh berries purchased from Whole Foods. Who knows.
Before he reached the front of the line, soce was seen handing off his book to someone who worked at the store. That person then handed the book to the author. soce and the author had a brief conversation. The author apparently recognized soce from previous online correspondences. He initially made the rookie mistake of calling him "So-Cheh", but soce quickly responded that most people think that's how to pronounce his name, so he is used to it, even going so far as to joke that "soce" is actually just a made-up name with a made-up correct pronunciation. As if!!!
Then they discussed some other stuff, such as the future of hip hop music, and soce went merrily on his way. Someone who followed him out of the bookstore and into the subway system [ed note: Montpelier has subways??] heard him say outloud.. "Hmm.. I normally carry my iPod or Nintendo DS with me.. but today, I have neither. If only there was something I could do to pass the time. Oh wait, I have this book I just bought. Fancy that." And then he opened up the book and read it (or perhaps simply stared blankly at the pages) until his train came. More details as we find out.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
MUST READ!! soce orders hotdog
BANGOR, ME -- soce was one again spotted in the street. It is believed that he slowly but surely turned his body as he was walking and diverted his direction toward a hotdog stand on the street.
He then began engaging in a mysterious dialogue with a man who could only be described as existing "inside a window". It's quite possible that soce was simply talking to himself while looking into a window. soce also spent some time looking at a sign that contained various words, and beside those words, numbers, dollar signs and other punctuation marks.
There were at least a half-dozen people gathered to witness this latest publicity stunt. Most of them were gathered directly behind this ultra popular megastar who is famous for absolutely no reason, perhaps in the hopes that they too could receive food by talking into this mysterious window.
After soce finished his brave and stirring monologue, he reached into his pocket, where he pulled out a stunning billfold. From within that wallet, he again reached in so that he could grab some green pieces of paper and a few shiny metallic circles. He then used his magical talents to make the money disappear from his hand and then travel downward, where it reappeared on the window sill.
A few minutes later, a man's hand reached out and handed soce a hotdog. The hotdog was in a bun, which was in a thin paper basket. soce walked over to a nearby counter and began grabbing napkins and condiments "as if he owned the place", according to local pharmacist Richard Rolando.
"He must've grabbed two, possibly three napkins and used a good five or so squirts of ketchup and mustard on top of the meat. Mind you, the squirts unleashed the tiny of tiniest dots, but still, he had a lot of nerve. I personally would've just fled the scene, but he stuck around, eating his hotdog until he was finished."
After consuming his meal, soce stuck around for a bit, simultaneously rubbing his stomach and looking back at the sign and window, as though he was deciding whether or not to order more food or just move on. This is the last that we've heard of the situation. If anything new happens, we'll be sure to let you know.
He then began engaging in a mysterious dialogue with a man who could only be described as existing "inside a window". It's quite possible that soce was simply talking to himself while looking into a window. soce also spent some time looking at a sign that contained various words, and beside those words, numbers, dollar signs and other punctuation marks.
There were at least a half-dozen people gathered to witness this latest publicity stunt. Most of them were gathered directly behind this ultra popular megastar who is famous for absolutely no reason, perhaps in the hopes that they too could receive food by talking into this mysterious window.
After soce finished his brave and stirring monologue, he reached into his pocket, where he pulled out a stunning billfold. From within that wallet, he again reached in so that he could grab some green pieces of paper and a few shiny metallic circles. He then used his magical talents to make the money disappear from his hand and then travel downward, where it reappeared on the window sill.
A few minutes later, a man's hand reached out and handed soce a hotdog. The hotdog was in a bun, which was in a thin paper basket. soce walked over to a nearby counter and began grabbing napkins and condiments "as if he owned the place", according to local pharmacist Richard Rolando.
"He must've grabbed two, possibly three napkins and used a good five or so squirts of ketchup and mustard on top of the meat. Mind you, the squirts unleashed the tiny of tiniest dots, but still, he had a lot of nerve. I personally would've just fled the scene, but he stuck around, eating his hotdog until he was finished."
After consuming his meal, soce stuck around for a bit, simultaneously rubbing his stomach and looking back at the sign and window, as though he was deciding whether or not to order more food or just move on. This is the last that we've heard of the situation. If anything new happens, we'll be sure to let you know.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
THIS JUST IN: soce blows nose, coughs
FRANCONIA NOTCH, NH -- On exactly 8:05pm last Sunday SOCE was spotted walking down the street when he stopped, pulled a tissue out of his pocket and proceeded to blow his nose into it. He continued this many times over several minutes.
"It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen," stated Mark Bisbee (**names have been changed**). "He just kept that tissue up to his nose, sometimes folding it into smaller and smaller rectangles. The look on his face was one that resembled vague discomfort."
Just when it was believed that he was finished with this strange ritual, he turned his head to the side, raised his arm up and coughed slightly into it.
"I was astounded," Mark continued. "At first, he's doing one thing. Then, he's doing something else. I wasn't sure what he was going to do next."
Fellow onlooker Grace Shinobi agreed, "Yeah, it was really quite something. I hope he's okay. I've never seen anyone blow their nose or cough like that before."
After the nose-blowing / coughing incident, soce proceeded to walk down the street until he found a trashcan, where he promptly threw the tissue away. He looked closely at the trashcan to make sure he didn't miss when he threw it out.
"If he had missed on that throw, he probably would've bent down to pick it up. Sure, it would've gotten his hands dirty, but he's that kind of stand-up guy that he would look out for the surrounding community and make sure that his own garbage ends up in the proper place," Grace said, while licking a freshly scooped cone of ice cream.
More details on this story pending. We will do our best to keep you up to date.
"It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen," stated Mark Bisbee (**names have been changed**). "He just kept that tissue up to his nose, sometimes folding it into smaller and smaller rectangles. The look on his face was one that resembled vague discomfort."
Just when it was believed that he was finished with this strange ritual, he turned his head to the side, raised his arm up and coughed slightly into it.
"I was astounded," Mark continued. "At first, he's doing one thing. Then, he's doing something else. I wasn't sure what he was going to do next."
Fellow onlooker Grace Shinobi agreed, "Yeah, it was really quite something. I hope he's okay. I've never seen anyone blow their nose or cough like that before."
After the nose-blowing / coughing incident, soce proceeded to walk down the street until he found a trashcan, where he promptly threw the tissue away. He looked closely at the trashcan to make sure he didn't miss when he threw it out.
"If he had missed on that throw, he probably would've bent down to pick it up. Sure, it would've gotten his hands dirty, but he's that kind of stand-up guy that he would look out for the surrounding community and make sure that his own garbage ends up in the proper place," Grace said, while licking a freshly scooped cone of ice cream.
More details on this story pending. We will do our best to keep you up to date.
Monday, July 06, 2009
soce on twitter.
I have a regular twitter feed as well as one where I just give out math problems.
Man, my blog is so fun, entertaining and insightful!! This gives you the real look at what my life is really all about. Good times, yeah.
Man, my blog is so fun, entertaining and insightful!! This gives you the real look at what my life is really all about. Good times, yeah.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Totally not spam
Looking at this blog, would you think I am a spambot? Well, I'm totally not. I am a real person. Please believe me!!! I have like a million websites, but they're all fun. I write for stuff, and I do stuff, and other stuff. I also like to leave comments on other people's sites. We have fun. Aight, peace.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Something
I still do stuff.. at times.. on the radio, video, tv miracles, see these lyrical pills, it sounds spiritual,
Healthy like spirulina, I keep it cleana than I used to, no longer with the misdemeanors, I shine like listerene or
Dental floss.. Really.. whatever gets across, I'm set to toss it off a cliff. I don't fret a loss--
It's always good to change. I could behave. I'm through with rage. So busy, I usually lose a page.
Healthy like spirulina, I keep it cleana than I used to, no longer with the misdemeanors, I shine like listerene or
Dental floss.. Really.. whatever gets across, I'm set to toss it off a cliff. I don't fret a loss--
It's always good to change. I could behave. I'm through with rage. So busy, I usually lose a page.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Upcoming shows
Here's where you can spot me.. soon. For more info, please go to my my myspace website:
http://www.myspace.com/soce
Mar 12 2009 7:00P
Asian American Writer’s Workshop @ The Workshop New York, New York
Mar 20 2009 8:30P
9 Famous Irishmen @ Gotham City Improv New York, New York
Mar 25 2009 7:00P
Math Bee @ Chelsea Marketplace New York, New York
Mar 27 2009 8:00P
Five Points Variety Show @ Silk Road Place New York, New York
Mar 30 2009 8:00P
Recess at B Bar!! New York, New York
Apr 1 2009 8:00P
Shrink @ Otto’s Shrunken Head New York, New York
Apr 5 2009 1:00P
VCU ICF Richmond, Virginia
Apr 14 2009 8:00P
UG! COMEDY SHOW!! @ Underground Lounge New York, New York
Apr 15 2009 7:30P
Switzerland Neutral Comedy @ The Tank New York, New York
Apr 28 2009 9:00P
The Jake Seymour Telethon @ Ochi's Lounge New York, New York
May 3 2009 8:00P
The Carly Simon Comedy Hour @ Jazz on the Park!! New York, New York
http://www.myspace.com/soce
Mar 12 2009 7:00P
Asian American Writer’s Workshop @ The Workshop New York, New York
Mar 20 2009 8:30P
9 Famous Irishmen @ Gotham City Improv New York, New York
Mar 25 2009 7:00P
Math Bee @ Chelsea Marketplace New York, New York
Mar 27 2009 8:00P
Five Points Variety Show @ Silk Road Place New York, New York
Mar 30 2009 8:00P
Recess at B Bar!! New York, New York
Apr 1 2009 8:00P
Shrink @ Otto’s Shrunken Head New York, New York
Apr 5 2009 1:00P
VCU ICF Richmond, Virginia
Apr 14 2009 8:00P
UG! COMEDY SHOW!! @ Underground Lounge New York, New York
Apr 15 2009 7:30P
Switzerland Neutral Comedy @ The Tank New York, New York
Apr 28 2009 9:00P
The Jake Seymour Telethon @ Ochi's Lounge New York, New York
May 3 2009 8:00P
The Carly Simon Comedy Hour @ Jazz on the Park!! New York, New York
Saturday, November 01, 2008
soce shows in November, 2008!
How random is that! As a performer, there are times when I do lots of shows, and then none at all. But here's the deal for this one week:
Nov 12 2008 9:00P
Matt Little’s Big Show @ Under St. Marks Theater New York, New York
Nov 14 2008 9:00P
Zonie’s Closet(Illusions VI) Indianapolis, Indiana
Nov 15 2008 8:00P
Matthew Fish Book Release Party Bloomington, Illinois
Nov 17 2008 8:00P
Trivariety @ Lucky Cheng’s New York, New York
Nov 18 2008 7:30P
Ivy League Comedy @ Penn Club New York, New York
Nov 19 2008 7:00P
Math Bee @ Chelsea Marketplace New York, New York
If you live near Indianapolis, IN or Bloomington, IL, then definitely please come out! Because I don't do shows there often! If you have any questions about any shows, please hit me up! For more information, please go to my myspace page:
http://www.myspace.com/soce
I have a new song up there! It's got lots of chord changes, features singing, bass and electric guitar by yours truly, acoustic guitar by Chris Fuller and no rapping! It's actually a serious soce song!
FYI the Penn Club show is basically a private event for Penn Club members, but you should definitely make plans to come to any and all of the other shows!!!
Nov 12 2008 9:00P
Matt Little’s Big Show @ Under St. Marks Theater New York, New York
Nov 14 2008 9:00P
Zonie’s Closet(Illusions VI) Indianapolis, Indiana
Nov 15 2008 8:00P
Matthew Fish Book Release Party Bloomington, Illinois
Nov 17 2008 8:00P
Trivariety @ Lucky Cheng’s New York, New York
Nov 18 2008 7:30P
Ivy League Comedy @ Penn Club New York, New York
Nov 19 2008 7:00P
Math Bee @ Chelsea Marketplace New York, New York
If you live near Indianapolis, IN or Bloomington, IL, then definitely please come out! Because I don't do shows there often! If you have any questions about any shows, please hit me up! For more information, please go to my myspace page:
http://www.myspace.com/soce
I have a new song up there! It's got lots of chord changes, features singing, bass and electric guitar by yours truly, acoustic guitar by Chris Fuller and no rapping! It's actually a serious soce song!
FYI the Penn Club show is basically a private event for Penn Club members, but you should definitely make plans to come to any and all of the other shows!!!
Friday, October 10, 2008
I interview comedians for The Apiary!!!
It's so much fun! I love it! They generally publish my interviews once every other week. You can read them all right here:
http://www.socetew.com/theapiary.html
Enjoy! Please leave some comments :-) More coming soon!!!!!!! If you think you're an interesting comedian, or you have interesting comedian friends, and you've never really been featured in the apiary before (except maybe in a small news blurb, but never a full-blown article), then hit me up! Maybe we will do the old one-two interview together! Yeah!!!!!
http://www.socetew.com/theapiary.html
Enjoy! Please leave some comments :-) More coming soon!!!!!!! If you think you're an interesting comedian, or you have interesting comedian friends, and you've never really been featured in the apiary before (except maybe in a small news blurb, but never a full-blown article), then hit me up! Maybe we will do the old one-two interview together! Yeah!!!!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
soce wins Sirius Shade 45 gay hip hop battle
What?? Yes. It's true. Read and listen here:
The Apiary's article
Out Hip Hop's article
Amnesia Sparkles
So that was fun. I'm looking forward to returning some day and just chillin. Hopefully more big things soon. Also, I'll be posting up the entire season of the gayest rap show ever real soon.
The Apiary's article
Out Hip Hop's article
Amnesia Sparkles
So that was fun. I'm looking forward to returning some day and just chillin. Hopefully more big things soon. Also, I'll be posting up the entire season of the gayest rap show ever real soon.
Monday, April 21, 2008
soce Midwest Mini-Tour in May!!!
Yeah!!! I am super excited about going on tour in May!!!! I would love for you to come to one of the shows if you live in the area!!!
Thursday, May 8
8pm
Opening up for Scream Club
Melody Inn
3826 N Illinois St
Indianapolis, Indiana
http://www.myspace.com/kuntcollective
Friday, May 9
8pm
Opening for Pressure Comedy
6318 North Clark Street
Chicago, Illinois
http://www.myspace.com/bubbamuski
Saturday, May 10
8pm
Homocore Minneapolis Show
Featuring soce, TORI FIXX, nancy drew crew and eddie f
Zombie House
Minneapolis, Minnesota
http://www.myspace.com/homocore
Sunday, May 11
8pm
Featuring soce, Hey There Cowboy, Tori Fixx, Nancy Drew Crew
Pi Bar
2532 25th Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota
http://www.myspace.com/mplspi
I believe most shows have around a $5 cover.
Thursday, May 8
8pm
Opening up for Scream Club
Melody Inn
3826 N Illinois St
Indianapolis, Indiana
http://www.myspace.com/kuntcollective
Friday, May 9
8pm
Opening for Pressure Comedy
6318 North Clark Street
Chicago, Illinois
http://www.myspace.com/bubbamuski
Saturday, May 10
8pm
Homocore Minneapolis Show
Featuring soce, TORI FIXX, nancy drew crew and eddie f
Zombie House
Minneapolis, Minnesota
http://www.myspace.com/homocore
Sunday, May 11
8pm
Featuring soce, Hey There Cowboy, Tori Fixx, Nancy Drew Crew
Pi Bar
2532 25th Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota
http://www.myspace.com/mplspi
I believe most shows have around a $5 cover.
Monday, October 29, 2007
When a server says, "Anything else?"...
I used to get a little upset when I put in my order, and my server said "Anything else?" or "Is that all?"
I would think, "What, that's not enough? You want me to order more??"
But I've come to the realization that for the most part, servers don't care how much you order. What they really want to know is if they can go ahead and enter in your order, or if you need more time. It can be a huge pain if they leave you and then you have to flag them down to give them a longer order or if they ring you up in the register, and then they have to ring you in all over again because you added some additional items.
So they're not necessarily saying "that's it?? you're so cheap!" They're generally saying, "Is it okay if I go ahead and enter in your order, or are you should I wait for you to decide what else you're thinking of getting?"
good times
Love,
soce
I would think, "What, that's not enough? You want me to order more??"
But I've come to the realization that for the most part, servers don't care how much you order. What they really want to know is if they can go ahead and enter in your order, or if you need more time. It can be a huge pain if they leave you and then you have to flag them down to give them a longer order or if they ring you up in the register, and then they have to ring you in all over again because you added some additional items.
So they're not necessarily saying "that's it?? you're so cheap!" They're generally saying, "Is it okay if I go ahead and enter in your order, or are you should I wait for you to decide what else you're thinking of getting?"
good times
Love,
soce
Thursday, May 17, 2007
How badly do you want it???
There are certain things in our life that we must have, such as food, water and rest, and we need to make an active effort to acquire them. However, there are other less dire but possibly more emotionally resonant desires that fill our brains with thoughts of hope, anticipation, anxiety and despair.
It's interesting though because many of these items or situations we're hoping for are nice, but not always ultimately necessary, and when we get what we want, we're not always very satisfied. So sometimes it pays to slow down and enjoy the moment.. to decide that whether or not we achieve the desired result, things will simply work themselves out.
I find that certain people, tv shows, corporations, stores etc etc will end up bonding with me, and others won't. You can sort of tell in advance who's going to make the connection, but you can never be positive until you've given it a shot.. Sometimes they won't be able to give you what you initially wanted, but your relationship with them may have unexpected positive outcomes.. For instance, you may end up finding another person, tv show, corporation, store etc through the first one, and that may lead to other opportunities and so on.
I know that it's very easy to get caught up in the moment and want to have everything right now, today, this instant, but sometimes you're just going to have to wait and see what happens. When it finally does, hopefully it'll be everything you've always wanted it to be.
Love,
soce, the elemental wizard
It's interesting though because many of these items or situations we're hoping for are nice, but not always ultimately necessary, and when we get what we want, we're not always very satisfied. So sometimes it pays to slow down and enjoy the moment.. to decide that whether or not we achieve the desired result, things will simply work themselves out.
I find that certain people, tv shows, corporations, stores etc etc will end up bonding with me, and others won't. You can sort of tell in advance who's going to make the connection, but you can never be positive until you've given it a shot.. Sometimes they won't be able to give you what you initially wanted, but your relationship with them may have unexpected positive outcomes.. For instance, you may end up finding another person, tv show, corporation, store etc through the first one, and that may lead to other opportunities and so on.
I know that it's very easy to get caught up in the moment and want to have everything right now, today, this instant, but sometimes you're just going to have to wait and see what happens. When it finally does, hopefully it'll be everything you've always wanted it to be.
Love,
soce, the elemental wizard
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