Louis CK, Are You Gay?

Louis CK recently made some jokes about possibly being gay. Whether or not he actually is, his set was surprisingly true to concerns of people who are in the process of coming out of the closet, so I commend him on his accuracy.

One of his concerns that was legitimate for a closeted person but not in line with reality were that the moment he showed interest in a man, they would immediately have sex. Sex is something that needs to occur with the consent of both parties every time. Otherwise, that's a problem. So if one of the people is not ready for it, then it cannot and should not occur.

There are many gay people who are physically and emotionally into men but not specifically into having sex. So if Louis CK was specifically interested in pursuing a man, it wouldn't be hard for him to find someone who would suit his exact needs, in terms of a relationship that is loving but not sexual in ways for which he's unprepared. Also, he may find that over time, his views on the matter change as he gets more comfortable with his sexuality and being intimate with a man.

For anyone who is unsure about whether they are gay, straight, bi or something else, I strongly encourage you to talk with other people about it. People who you trust, who will keep your thoughts confidential until you yourself are ready to open up to others. There's also lots of information available on the web as well. Just make sure you stick with pages that are as professionally written as possible. As with much information on the 'net, message boards can sometimes be helpful and sometimes not so much.

Being in the closet is a challenging and emotionally difficult time. For some people, it can take years and even decades to feel comfortable in your own skin. And it may not simply be a matter of being gay. It could be that a person doesn't conform to their expected gender, they are attracted to people different from who the media states are attractive, they aren't into sex at all, they have certain desires that aren't normally publicly expressed, or even something about them is different from others that has nothing to do with sex.

What is most important is that people learn to love the fact that they are different and unique. It's not a problem to have something that makes you unusual. And over time, you will learn that no matter what it is about you, you are certainly not alone. There may only be a small group of other people who feel the same way you do, but they exist. As long as the things you are into are done with the full consent of others, and they don't cause any harm to anyone (including yourself), then go ahead and indulge safely and without fear or guilt.

It may take a while, but you should be proud of who you are. We are all amazing people, who are fantastic in our own way! Use your powers for good, to make the world a better place!