MASHED UP: Pop-Ups

Pop-Up ads are everywhere on the internet, but there's only so much you can get out of text. soce has helpfully added vibrant sound and music to make them truly leap out at you, or "pop", as we say in the business of notebooking.

DISCOVERED: soce reading a tennis ball

ROSE FAIR COUNTRY CLUB: soce was sitting next to a tennis court, inside a gazebo. He was wearing white shorts, a white polo shirt, white sneakers and white socks. His hair, surprisingly, was still brown. Oh and also he was reading a tennis ball.. although you may have already known that from reading the title of this article.

Witnesses pondered what he could have found so exciting about said tennis ball, as from their vantage point, all it had written on it was "Tennis Ball", and the name of the manufacturer. Do tennis balls also list their ingredients? Possible on the can, but on the ball itself? Is that important to know? Was there some sort of secret code that could be leading to treasure?

Is soce in on it, but nobody else is? Is someone else in on it? Does he have a partner somewhere? Perhaps multiple partners? Was he even at a tennis court at all? When was the last time you heard someone talk about a gazebo before reading it here? Are you alive? What is religion? Who are we? Democrat or Republican? Do you ever find yourself being attracted to people you can't stand?

All these questions and more will be asked in a future newscast.. Stay tuned.

SURPRISE: soce is a two-headed goat

LADAKH, KASHMIR: People have spotted a two-headed goat walking down the streets, and they are positive beyond a doubt that it is soce. They saw the goat being herded by a particularly sexy blonde celebrate named [Ed: Name withheld by request.], and she was doing her trademark action of [Ed: Action withheld by request], along with [Ed: Withheld by request] and [Ed: etc].

How are they so positive that it's soce? "Welllll..." began a man who was actually quite handsome, and we're thinking about approaching him for his phone number after this interview wraps up.. but it's actually kind of tough because despite our serious exterior, we're really quite shy and forlorn about our own life situations and placement, "He had soce's swagger, he was all like walking down the street and talking to himself.

"Mostly speaking in goat tongue of course, but he had this inimitable rhythm to his flow, it was like there was a real message to it. Even a story, perhaps. Oh, and when he wasn't speaking his cute lil goat language, he was quacking like a duck, or possibly tweeting like a fish, oops I mean bird chick." Our witness then leaned forward, and we saw that he had a very hairy chest.. Dreamy. We leaned toward him as well to perhaps give him a small peck on the neck, but we accidentally bumped heads.. That was a bit awkward, but he played it off now by ignoring that it ever happened, finally adding, "I have to go."

So this goat walked around the city some more and then was seen scaling some rock cliffs. The woman he was with sometimes had to assist him, pushing him up the really steep parts. In exchange, he let her ride him during the flat parts. She seemed mostly at ease, although sometimes she was visibly distressed, making claims about "needing to reschedule a meeting with her publicist".

Most people were impressed at seeing soce for the first time. Others, not so much. Trent Trinkleberry had this on his mind, "It's a lot like when MTV2 came out with their logo The Two-Headed Dog, and they had a website and everything. I mean it was all over Friendster in the 80s, oh wait I mean like 2003-2004. It was weird, too because they played some videos such as 'Extreme Walking' that had been played on MTV1 years before, so it wasn't even like they were ushering in anything new. And that's how I feel about soce as well."

Not ushering in anything new, you say? In response, soce's right head had this to say, "Blort." While his left head, during a different interview, stated: "Baaaaaah."

DATING: Asians

SCENE: soce at a party

SAGE THEATER, TIMES SQUARE: This is how soce gets down.

Featuring Dave T. Koenig, Emmy Rivera, Shane Webb, Peter Vellios, Devon Ragsdale, Justin Zell, Dan Venning, Erik Lillimagi, Marcus Caceras Broussard, Jackie Silvestri and Paul M Bauer. Filmed by Liam Ahern.

WATCH THIS: Out Hip Hop Music Videos

We interrupt our extremely general newscast to give you some of the latest out hip hop videos. These are all high quality and deserve to be seen on MTV or whatever video music channel exists these days. Enjoy!

Drew Mason: This Music's In My Soul

ENV: We're Taking Over

Johnny Dangerous: (Wan Dat) Azz Iz

Baron: Party With B

Pam Jones: Malibu Coconut

JFP: Ex-Hos

Melange Lavonne: Gay Bash

MC Flow: Created Equal