NOW BIGGER, BADDER

PENNSAUKEN, NJ: We live in an era where things exist. Not just anything, but specific things. Other things as well. Often, we'd like to make additional money or else get more for less. Well, now we can.

It's been a lot of work, but you've finally created something very exciting for us. We just can't wait for you to unveil your latest creation. It's going to be something else, you can assure us of that.

Winding our way through the main streets, we seek you out. You say you don't want to ruin the surprise, but we know you're just dying to drop some hints; at least a few. If you proceed to clam up, then we're going to have to bat it out of you, and you probably don't want that.

Thanks so much for doing this for us. We can't say how helpful it is. Many have tried to hold us back and sell us small items while making pithy remarks, but not you. No, you have been nothing but the kindest, gentlest person for us. Waiting is difficult, but we will do what we can. Thanks.

SPILLING: Water

CRANSTON, NJ: I took a walk down the street. I was holding some red juice in my hand. Not in a cup. Well, my hands were cupped. It was fun. But then I tripped, and it got all over my shirt. My brand new white shirt!!

I was so unhappy. Life is tough some times. So I went to wash it. I poured soap and water into the sink and let it soak as I hoped for the best. Witnesses describe my mood as "melodramatic".

Later on, I was seen strutting somewhere else, this time holding some blue juice in my cupped hands, wearing another crisp, clean tee. This person never learns.

NEWS BULLETIN: People Could Die

CITY, TOWN: There was something that happened somewhere. From what I remember, there was a lot of screaming. People ran from one place to another. Then they waited a lot. If they hadn't been so careful, some people could have died. It was a pretty dangerous situation.

We're looking at grainy videotape footage in order to determine what actually occurred. Hopefully we'll have some results soon. I hear it's raining outside? We believe it was a man that committed the original act, although it may very well have been a woman.

This little misfortune cost the industry over 37 billion dollars. Imagine what would've happened had some people gotten hurt! An extra $42.59 of debt! Yikes! But thankfully, it didn't.

We appreciate the work of all those who've done great jobs scouting for signs of trouble. I'm sure it's quite difficult, and you totally did it. Excellent job. We really like those of you who are on horseback. Now if you can turn off the spigot somehow, that would be great too. Your PR advertisements aren't fooling me. Although to be honest, for many years, they were, and I thought you were great. Keep at it.

In Which Soce Goes Back in Time

The names's Guillaume. Don't forget the name. Video created by smallGRAND productions. Video Produced by Dan Haley. Video Directed and edited by Rachel Gordon. Music performed and produced by Soce the Elemental Wizard.