THIS JUST IN: coffee machine explodes

Okay, well it didn't actually explode. There was more like a drip and a funny noise coming out of it when I pushed some buttons this morning. The buttons were on my cellphone, but I was in the office kitchen, getting some, you know, cereal and stuff? I like to have whole grains in the morning. I mean, who doesn't?

But then I looked over at yon coffee machine, and before you know it, there was beeping about some error message this and "needs more water" that, so I called over my friend Janice for help. You know Janice, right? She's pretty cool.

We talked it over and figured the best thing to do would be to return it to the manufacturer, but we didn't know how to unplug it from the wall or the water pipes (nor did we have a way to box it up and press "send"), so we just left it there. I hope it's okay.

Prologue: I came back the next day, and it seemed to be working fine, although truth be told, I don't really like coffee. Perhaps someone else fixed it. But there's no cereal left today, which sucks. I guess I'll have oatmeal instead.

This story was brought to you by cereal (our corporate sponsor). Thanks, cereal. Have some today (if it's in your kitchen).