The Wizardry Academy

Soce Creates Costumes: Dances With Friends

2011-12-31T07:23:00.000-08:00

Let's do this, folks. It only took around 50 hours to make the costumes, 50 hours to teach the choreography to everyone and lots of money to rent out a performance space and hire a professional director, but I've finally been able to prove once and for all that I have too much free time on my hands!

This is the Internet!!!

2011-05-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

Purchase my music on iTunes or CD Baby!

He's not ready.

2010-12-18T17:30:00.000-08:00

When posting internet videos leads to superstardom.. Speaking of which, be sure to forward this to all your friends.

THIS

2010-09-22T17:41:00.000-07:00

THE AIRES, ML: We are in the moment of now. What once never was, is happening right this instant. Don't look with surprise, for you are the one in command. We fear nothing, for there is no longer anything of which we are unaware.

All problems are solved, all strife has eased. Every person has a job they love, and every lover has a mate of equal or greater status in their eyes. We roll around on the ground, and we like it that way. One more thing: It's very nice.

I was once naive like you, but no longer. I see things as they should be, not just how I want them to be. I run around in fields of grain on a daily basis. I walk among the people, not just with them. I circumvent all natural disasters. And so can you. Simply open up your mind, and you'll be able to take it.

IN MEMORIAM: Ochi's Lounge

2010-09-03T11:14:00.000-07:00

COMIX, BSMT: I really enjoyed spending time in Ochi's Lounge, and I'm sad to see it go. Some of the shows were packed; others not so much. We all had a really fun time there with lots of bonding between both comedians and audience members. Sometimes famous performers who were doing shows upstairs would drop by and watch or give us a small set of their new material. Anything could happen!

You could watch great shows and order delicious food and tasty drinks, the bartender was always super chill and friendly, and there was always a fine selection of comedians hanging out there. It was our special spot, much more so than other comedy rooms about town. We enjoyed it a lot and hope for the best for all involved!!! Thanks again for great times and wonderful comedy!

He really likes Gap Blue Jeans

2010-08-31T11:06:00.000-07:00

This is a soce beat, and also he filmed and editing the video as well. Lights, camera, action! Please rate it 5 stars so that he may proceed onward.

Let's Talk Math.

2010-08-30T08:18:00.000-07:00

When you are standing out on a roof top with a beautiful and intelligent lady, the first thing you should always do is ask her a math question that involves reaching to the very core of the earth. Also try to touch her hair. And dance with her in a doorway.

IN-DEPTH: Soce Speaks

2010-07-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

PRESS ROOM, NT: Soce loves to talk to people, and sometimes they write down their discussions in the form of questions and answers, such as the following exchange:

PERSON: Why do you do something?

SOCE: There is a reason that I'd like to tell you.

PERSON: Thanks, that was very illuminating.

SOCE: Your last sentence wasn't a question.

PERSON: Got it.

SOCE: Pizza?

Recently, soce has talked with both Adam Bernard and The Apiary. Cheers.

THOUGHTS: We Are Moving Somewhere

2010-07-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

DARK ROOM, ST: We'll be moving from the club back to my place, if you know what I'm saying!!! At least that's what Jen Kwok is thinking when she sees you, you handsome so-and-so! Soce the elemental wizard himself produced the beat for this Katy Perry / Lady Gaga-styled anthem. Also features Miss CKC Carolyn Castiglia rapping and was directed by Ballard C. Boyd. Enjoy!!

NEWS UPDATE: The previous news brief was incorrect.

2010-07-12T08:21:00.000-07:00

SALIMONEY, SP: Hi. First off, I'd like to apologize. I wrote something recently that was completely wrong. I'm not quite sure how it happened. Generally, our fact checkers are absolutely top-notch. However it looks like this time they weren't. I had been talking about a cup of coffee, but it turns out it was actually some chai tea.

Second off, I feel the need to clarify that I drink a multitude of flavoured beverages. I enjoy some beet-lemon juice as much as the next woman or man. Also, I drink pasta.

Third off, I'm hoping that in addition to listening to my "I'm sorry" speech, you will accept it and forgive me, so that we can all move on to some more pressing issues, such as what did she really say, or is he all that you can muster, or do they really walk like that?? Also, I've always wondered whether or not it was meant to be.

Fourth off (and this is my last one, for now), do you think that you could chew a little less loudly? It makes it hard for me to crack my knuckles when you're always making those mouth noises. I'm just sayin.. or am I?

Dancing Cats

2010-07-10T16:40:00.000-07:00

I produced the music for this. Believe that!

Hip Hop, meet Math

2010-07-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

soce and Prince Paul talk about music and math in a recording studio.

HEY LADIES: Check your PDAs.

2010-06-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

SKETCHY CLUB, VG: I was totally checking you out, woman, so I sent a txt msg to your phon. You know you got it, so why don't you give it a look / listen? Yes, it's one of those ultra high-powered 3D ones. It will totally wrangle you in and make you want to have smiles with me. We like to look happy, don't we? And wouldn't we do so together much? I think so.

I know that I'm reasonably cute, so we could totally work it out. And of course I'm crazy for you, lady, so this can be great if you would do me a solid and return the favour. Btdubs, I'm not sure what you call you. Woman? Lady? Gal? Female? Obvs you're no girl because you're older than a teenager.. though hopefully not by much, ha! Because I don't date anyone who's more than 1/5 my age!! And I'm quite old!

I mean, not that old. But yeah, I'm around 400 years old. And I'm sorry, but I am!! No!! I'm not going to apologize just for being who I am. This is me. If you can't see me, then you're missing the whole picture, babe. I am a person, and [[steps onto milk crate]] if this is not the person who can photo yourself being with, then golly dashart, this is not AMERICA! [[massive cheering and applause]]

So what u doin tonit?

NEW POST: This will tell you something

2010-06-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

ANTARKANSAS, TX: There's a lot of stuff this won't tell you. There's also a bit that you'd rather not hear, so I'll respect your request for privacy. And yes, I've been getting feedback that this looks like the fake text that appears in spamvertisement emails, yet that won't deter me.

I think that things happen for a reason. Like for instance, something happened not too long ago, and that made me smile. Maybe it was because a man was staring at me angrily. Maybe it was because I was enjoying some fresh air. Maybe it was because I accidentally crushed my conditional container while in the shower with the strength of my bare hands.

Regardless, they affect not just me but often others nearby. We order food. We get the food. We eat the food. And then soon enough, we're ready for more. It's up to you to decide what to eat, in this case. Try to make it healthy, right? Well am I correct or not? I'm still waiting to hear back from you.

In closing, I would like to repeat what I've already said earlier on in this term paper but change the wording slightly. So maybe not talk about the beef and vegetables but this time focus on the positive outlook on like that's necessary for you to get anywhere. Because if there's one thing I'm good at, it's turning historical prose into yet another chance for me to lecture you on how you're living your life.

FOUND OUT: Facts that will effect you dearly

2010-06-25T14:13:00.000-07:00

OLD LAKE, JM: Hi. Before I begin with this crazy important brief and tedious news bulletin, let me tell you that I am looking great today. I don't know how I do it, but I just somehow do. It could possibly be the hair gel that I thought about getting, or perhaps the fact that I finally "stuck a fork in it". Either way (probably neither of those), I'm feeling quite fine, and ain't nobody going to ruin my high.

So, on to the next one. I hear that there's some killer new apps out for the phone-phone (that thing that rings or plays a song or shakes when someone wants to talk to you?) that you may want to check out, for they will have life-threatening consequences if you don't. This one does some amazing stuff. So cool that I'm not going to bother to provide any other details.

Also, have you heard the news? Someone died recently. I'm sorry to have had to break it to you like this, but I just did. And no, that's not a spoiler, because it hasn't happened yet!! Oh, it will though.. Very soon. I hear that he or she was very important to someone. He was a person who lived his life to the fullest, and my how he loved to laugh. That guy. Couldn't stop laughing.

Finally, I am of the opinion that there could be more done to affect the economy. Specifically, the oil spill. I mean don't get me wrong, there are lots of cool PR spins, and some people are getting hired, and others fired, and some are racing yachts and apologizing, but really? I mean, really? On the rillz, as they say? Let's put in a napkin and start building some roads, people!! Government infrastructure! Vote!

I'm sick of the coffee drinkers having all the say! What about us hot cocoa'ers!! Think of the children? When do they get to vote? Oh, when they turn 18? Well, that makes sense. Sometimes after I vote, I like to tell my friends, "I votod."

NOW BIGGER, BADDER

2010-05-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

PENNSAUKEN, NJ: We live in an era where things exist. Not just anything, but specific things. Other things as well. Often, we'd like to make additional money or else get more for less. Well, now we can.

It's been a lot of work, but you've finally created something very exciting for us. We just can't wait for you to unveil your latest creation. It's going to be something else, you can assure us of that.

Winding our way through the main streets, we seek you out. You say you don't want to ruin the surprise, but we know you're just dying to drop some hints; at least a few. If you proceed to clam up, then we're going to have to bat it out of you, and you probably don't want that.

Thanks so much for doing this for us. We can't say how helpful it is. Many have tried to hold us back and sell us small items while making pithy remarks, but not you. No, you have been nothing but the kindest, gentlest person for us. Waiting is difficult, but we will do what we can. Thanks.

SPILLING: Water

2010-05-05T10:53:00.000-07:00

CRANSTON, NJ: I took a walk down the street. I was holding some red juice in my hand. Not in a cup. Well, my hands were cupped. It was fun. But then I tripped, and it got all over my shirt. My brand new white shirt!!

I was so unhappy. Life is tough some times. So I went to wash it. I poured soap and water into the sink and let it soak as I hoped for the best. Witnesses describe my mood as "melodramatic".

Later on, I was seen strutting somewhere else, this time holding some blue juice in my cupped hands, wearing another crisp, clean tee. This person never learns.

NEWS BULLETIN: People Could Die

2010-05-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

CITY, TOWN: There was something that happened somewhere. From what I remember, there was a lot of screaming. People ran from one place to another. Then they waited a lot. If they hadn't been so careful, some people could have died. It was a pretty dangerous situation.

We're looking at grainy videotape footage in order to determine what actually occurred. Hopefully we'll have some results soon. I hear it's raining outside? We believe it was a man that committed the original act, although it may very well have been a woman.

This little misfortune cost the industry over 37 billion dollars. Imagine what would've happened had some people gotten hurt! An extra $42.59 of debt! Yikes! But thankfully, it didn't.

We appreciate the work of all those who've done great jobs scouting for signs of trouble. I'm sure it's quite difficult, and you totally did it. Excellent job. We really like those of you who are on horseback. Now if you can turn off the spigot somehow, that would be great too. Your PR advertisements aren't fooling me. Although to be honest, for many years, they were, and I thought you were great. Keep at it.

In Which Soce Goes Back in Time

2010-05-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

The names's Guillaume. Don't forget the name. Video created by smallGRAND productions. Video Produced by Dan Haley. Video Directed and edited by Rachel Gordon. Music performed and produced by Soce the Elemental Wizard.

Let's talk about more math.

2010-04-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

These two guys are absolutely thrilled to talk about the size of soce's farm.. mathematically. Why doesn't he just tell him the answer in the first place?

SAUCE: It got that sauce

2010-03-18T14:15:00.000-07:00

EATERY, VA: Sometimes food can be good, but it can also be dry. Don't you hate that? You want to sink your teeth it, but sometimes you need to cough a few times first before taking a bite. But then once you're fully prepared, everything's fine.

So you may want to add in a little liquid that also contains flavoring. I also tend to like things that are spicy. Don't you? If I'm not crying while eating, then well.. what's the point? Oh, to provide me with nutrients because I'm a growing boy and/or girl, you say? I suppose, dear, I suppose.

Do yourself a favor and grab a bottle today. Interesting that sauce rarely comes in cans. It may be in a jar. Sometimes, it's just curry powder, and then you have to add in coconut milk or some other such substance. Gosh, this is a bit of an educational post, sort of. I didn't mean for it to be like that. I should get back to telling you important news. We shall see, won't we.

Two guys talk about math.

2010-02-26T10:51:00.000-08:00

Imagine that. Oh, but it doesn't stop here.

OPINION PIECE: Does a phone cost money?

2010-01-27T18:22:00.000-08:00

Hi. This is the editor here, and I have something to say. All this time, I have been using a phone, and I had no idea whether or not it costs money. So let's examine some facts and come to a conclusion. Do you like that idea? I feel that's really the only way to be certain. Besides, it's not a democracy. I'm here to write; you're here to read. That being said, I do appreciate your feedback, even if I ultimately don't heed it.

Fact 1) Phones have buttons. These buttons must be pushed numerous times if you wish to connect your phone to someone else's. At that point, you must raise the phone up to your face in order that your voice may be heard. Note that it is not necessary to speak into a phone if the person you're trying to communicate with is standing nearby. In that case, simply face the direction of said operative and speak toward his or her ears. That should suffice, as long as you are making sense.

Fact 2) You don't need to insert money into the phone. This and this alone would lead me to believe that phones are free. Here I am, talking, texting and web surfing (on some models.. can you imagine!) without paying anybody anything. All that really happens is that I receive an envelope mailed to my home address with some pieces of paper, and then some numbers change on a website and in a database somewhere, but it's not like I need to reach into my wallet every time I make a call, right? I mean, who would I even give the money to?? That would be just silly, handing out dollar bills to anyone who happened to be passing by.

Fact 3) I can't have everything that I want. This is more of an annoyance than an actual fact. For reals, though, why can't I? I think I'm a good person who deserves the best, but apparently not everyone else does. I guess it's up to me to go around convincing them or at least to let my work speak for itself. But work can't talk! It's not like my work is alive. Well, supposedly it lives on in people's hearts, but that's another matter altogether.

Okay so in total, we have one point toward, one against and another in a third direction. I guess that makes it a multi-way tie. I might need to bring in some experts on the matter.

THIS JUST IN: coffee machine explodes

2009-12-14T11:50:00.000-08:00

Okay, well it didn't actually explode. There was more like a drip and a funny noise coming out of it when I pushed some buttons this morning. The buttons were on my cellphone, but I was in the office kitchen, getting some, you know, cereal and stuff? I like to have whole grains in the morning. I mean, who doesn't?

But then I looked over at yon coffee machine, and before you know it, there was beeping about some error message this and "needs more water" that, so I called over my friend Janice for help. You know Janice, right? She's pretty cool.

We talked it over and figured the best thing to do would be to return it to the manufacturer, but we didn't know how to unplug it from the wall or the water pipes (nor did we have a way to box it up and press "send"), so we just left it there. I hope it's okay.

Prologue: I came back the next day, and it seemed to be working fine, although truth be told, I don't really like coffee. Perhaps someone else fixed it. But there's no cereal left today, which sucks. I guess I'll have oatmeal instead.

This story was brought to you by cereal (our corporate sponsor). Thanks, cereal. Have some today (if it's in your kitchen).

BREAKING NEWS

2009-11-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

If you thought that our newscast style was something in writing, wait til you see it on video! We hope you enjoy the truth we have to reveal to you. Also, we warn you that not watching it could be dangerous. It might not be dangerous.. but is that a risk you really want to take?

NEWS: Impending Doom

2009-10-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

ISLAND MOUNTAINS, THE WORLD: The world is at risk of impending doom. We have super serious scientific evidence that this is such. We're so sad and sorry to say, but our job is to deliver you the truth, no matter how painful that may be. We've seen storm patterns and rain clouds, fire and brimstone, mixed fabrics and reality TV.

Please start purchasing extra amounts of duct tape and water bottles. Make sure the water bottles are empty so that you can fill them later. But don't get the nice, designer quality bottles, get the actual ones that you buy in the grocery / convenience store for around a dollar per bottle, empty out the water currently in them and then store the bottles themselves for future use. You're welcome.

Also, if you live somewhere with shoes hanging over the streetlights by the laces, then it's already over.

SPECIAL: soce scrubs his hands.. like A LOT

2009-10-08T14:35:00.000-07:00

ANYWHERE: It's true. I couldn't stop staring at him, but mostly at his hands. They were withered husks of hands; no more dead skin; all the skin was alive. It made me write poetry, but not about his hands. Nope, I wrote about the stars and the sun and the sky. I read it to my girlfriend. She thought it was beautiful.

We went back to the sink, and he was still there. I was absolutely flabbergasted. We asked him to leave. It was our turn now. To wash. Our hands. In the sink. We cried. We hugged. We begged. Still, he would not leave. Ever eternally, he remains. Washing his hands.

FUN FACT: soce likes videogames

2009-10-02T11:55:00.001-07:00

But he is not alone. Apparently number one from the streets headliner killer emcee P.A.T. is a fan as well and has been one for quite some time. Find out more by listening to their BAAB Remix.

MASHED UP: Pop-Ups

2009-09-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

Pop-Up ads are everywhere on the internet, but there's only so much you can get out of text. soce has helpfully added vibrant sound and music to make them truly leap out at you, or "pop", as we say in the business of notebooking.

DISCOVERED: soce reading a tennis ball

2009-09-23T09:03:00.000-07:00

ROSE FAIR COUNTRY CLUB: soce was sitting next to a tennis court, inside a gazebo. He was wearing white shorts, a white polo shirt, white sneakers and white socks. His hair, surprisingly, was still brown. Oh and also he was reading a tennis ball.. although you may have already known that from reading the title of this article.

Witnesses pondered what he could have found so exciting about said tennis ball, as from their vantage point, all it had written on it was "Tennis Ball", and the name of the manufacturer. Do tennis balls also list their ingredients? Possible on the can, but on the ball itself? Is that important to know? Was there some sort of secret code that could be leading to treasure?

Is soce in on it, but nobody else is? Is someone else in on it? Does he have a partner somewhere? Perhaps multiple partners? Was he even at a tennis court at all? When was the last time you heard someone talk about a gazebo before reading it here? Are you alive? What is religion? Who are we? Democrat or Republican? Do you ever find yourself being attracted to people you can't stand?

All these questions and more will be asked in a future newscast.. Stay tuned.

SURPRISE: soce is a two-headed goat

2009-09-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

LADAKH, KASHMIR: People have spotted a two-headed goat walking down the streets, and they are positive beyond a doubt that it is soce. They saw the goat being herded by a particularly sexy blonde celebrate named [Ed: Name withheld by request.], and she was doing her trademark action of [Ed: Action withheld by request], along with [Ed: Withheld by request] and [Ed: etc].

How are they so positive that it's soce? "Welllll..." began a man who was actually quite handsome, and we're thinking about approaching him for his phone number after this interview wraps up.. but it's actually kind of tough because despite our serious exterior, we're really quite shy and forlorn about our own life situations and placement, "He had soce's swagger, he was all like walking down the street and talking to himself.

"Mostly speaking in goat tongue of course, but he had this inimitable rhythm to his flow, it was like there was a real message to it. Even a story, perhaps. Oh, and when he wasn't speaking his cute lil goat language, he was quacking like a duck, or possibly tweeting like a fish, oops I mean bird chick." Our witness then leaned forward, and we saw that he had a very hairy chest.. Dreamy. We leaned toward him as well to perhaps give him a small peck on the neck, but we accidentally bumped heads.. That was a bit awkward, but he played it off now by ignoring that it ever happened, finally adding, "I have to go."

So this goat walked around the city some more and then was seen scaling some rock cliffs. The woman he was with sometimes had to assist him, pushing him up the really steep parts. In exchange, he let her ride him during the flat parts. She seemed mostly at ease, although sometimes she was visibly distressed, making claims about "needing to reschedule a meeting with her publicist".

Most people were impressed at seeing soce for the first time. Others, not so much. Trent Trinkleberry had this on his mind, "It's a lot like when MTV2 came out with their logo The Two-Headed Dog, and they had a website and everything. I mean it was all over Friendster in the 80s, oh wait I mean like 2003-2004. It was weird, too because they played some videos such as 'Extreme Walking' that had been played on MTV1 years before, so it wasn't even like they were ushering in anything new. And that's how I feel about soce as well."

Not ushering in anything new, you say? In response, soce's right head had this to say, "Blort." While his left head, during a different interview, stated: "Baaaaaah."

DATING: Asians

2009-09-10T15:29:00.001-07:00

SCENE: soce at a party

2009-09-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

SAGE THEATER, TIMES SQUARE: This is how soce gets down.

Featuring Dave T. Koenig, Emmy Rivera, Shane Webb, Peter Vellios, Devon Ragsdale, Justin Zell, Dan Venning, Erik Lillimagi, Marcus Caceras Broussard, Jackie Silvestri and Paul M Bauer. Filmed by Liam Ahern.

WATCH THIS: Out Hip Hop Music Videos

2009-09-07T09:06:00.001-07:00

We interrupt our extremely general newscast to give you some of the latest out hip hop videos. These are all high quality and deserve to be seen on MTV or whatever video music channel exists these days. Enjoy!

Drew Mason: This Music's In My Soul

ENV: We're Taking Over

Johnny Dangerous: (Wan Dat) Azz Iz

Baron: Party With B

Pam Jones: Malibu Coconut

JFP: Ex-Hos

Melange Lavonne: Gay Bash

MC Flow: Created Equal

FOUND: Two Celebrities Holding Hands

2009-08-31T12:47:00.000-07:00

NIGHTCLUB, MAIN ST: Two celebrities were discovered holding hands last night while walking down the street. They had never been seen together until now. So, it's official. We're letting people know that not only are they dating, but they have eloped, married and had a whole litter of bouncing beautiful babies. We wish them the best of luck.

One of the celebrities was interviewed, saying on record (and I quote): "Yeah we are good friends, and I like when we spend time together." The other one challenged that assumption with, "Oh him? I actually was losing my balance, and he reached out to grab my hand and pull me back up. We probably had skin-to-skin contact for all of about, what? Like four seconds."

Oh, but it was the four seconds heard [Ed. Note: "seen"?] around the world. We at the media elite headquarters are utterly shocked and never would have predicted in a million years that these two would have ended up together. Seriously. If we spent a whole million years trying to guess which to stars would end up as a couple, these two never would have crossed our minds.

In other news, we believe we may have spotted another illogical grouping of people down the street as well. We're heading over there to investigate, and we'll get back to you shortly, or not at all!

MISSING WITNESS

2009-08-27T14:17:00.000-07:00

THIS JUST IN: We have a missing witness. We're sorry. Nobody's perfect. As always, we'll give you more details as we come across them. Until then, we shall continue to both speculate and ask open-ended questions, letting you know what we don't know. Thanks for bearing with us.

SPOTTED: soce pushes buttons on piece of plastic

2009-08-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

AKVILIGJUAQ, NUNAVUT: We have recently received word that Mr. Soce (US, NYC) has been seen walking about the street and pushing various buttons on a piece of plastic. It may be partially metallic as well, or there could be some glass. Perhaps it is just clear plastic. We're not quite sure what he's doing or why.

At times, he is smiling, other times looking woeful. Recently, he switched from using his thumbs and is now poking at it using other fingers. Perhaps he may begin using his nose or elbows. Well, probably not. I mean, the buttons don't appear to be all that big. Plus then he'd have a hard time seeing the screen. I mean, really.

There was a witness who noted the color of the machine he was holding, but we apologize as we recently lost him. In fact our next article is going to be about a missing witness, so I guess that's a bit of a heads up.. If you know of a man who's missing, then please by all means report to us, just as we have been reporting to you. But perhaps don't report to us about soce and his mysterious box-type thing.. Let us know about the absent witness instead.

In other news.. Oh wait, soce appears to have put the piece of plastic in his pocket. No, oops he's taken it back out again. It seems the plastic tablet has a bit of control over his life. I wonder what it does. We are currently reporting that we have no idea what it's for, but we will continue to tell you what we do and don't know. For instance, we're not sure if it's square or round, or it may possibly be a rounded square.

I believe that it does something. I mean, it would be silly if he were just pushing buttons all day on a lifeless object that made nary a sound or image, amirite, folks? Maybe it delivers some information or else helps him out in a way. It could be a form of entertainment, although he mostly seems to curse at it. Hold up. I just heard him say, "Dog-gonnit!!!" He sounds pretty mad. Oh wait. I believe *I* am that missing witness we discussed earlier. Mystery solved. Hey, where's my film crew?

SOMETHING: soce dances at club

2009-08-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, STATE: "Well, first, he put his left foot in... But in what?" pensively asks a man whose name we forgot. "I think it was in the middle of the dance floor, but it easily could have been on his way to either the bar or the bathroom. I think at one point, he ordered a drink and maybe even tried to talk to someone there."

Later on, while he was filling out his information on a form (which we subsequently lost... sorry!), our witness filled us in on the following tidbit: "I remember it being quite dark in the club, and I was a bit buzzed, so it may have been someone else."

Nevertheless, other corroborate his story by claiming they say "a man" who was "around six feet tall", with "brown hair" and "a mustache", as well as "the rest of his beard too" "walking" around "the" "club". Also they claim that soce knew how to cut a rug, or at least he told many other patrons that he did, even showing them samples of various types of carpeting.

"I wasn't in the mood to purchase his wares that night," someone told 'us', "However, he does have quite an intriguing pitch. He said that if we bought one, we could get another as well. Not half-off, not free, but just that we were allowed to buy more than one floor covering at a time, which I guess was pretty cool. They would still ship separately."

Some of the other moves soce busted out [[Ed note: We're not supposed to use slang in this here article! Please fix before final printing!!!]] included the doo-wop, the hip-de-dip, the shamalama-ding-dong, the hop-de-bop, the superman, the sprinkler, the carton swing and crowd surfing, which mostly consisted of him jumping into the arms of that same man over and over again.

When further questioned, said man didn't want us to quote him, but told us practically verbatim that he thought soce was just messing with him, although perhaps it meant something more. He then thought about a funny joke his aunt once told him and burst out laughing while simultaneously walking away from us backward. We weren't quite sure what to make of it.

HEADLINE: soce buys groceries

2009-08-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

WASILLA, AK: Last night, soce, the elemental wizard (a/k/a soce, TEW) was spotted at a grocery store. Fellow patrons believed that he was carrying a baby on his chest. On closer inspection, it turned out that it wasn't.

People believe he may have purchased milk, as well as eggs, but they are unsure whether or not they were organic, field-raised, cage-raised, grass-fed or mutation-fed. Also it's unclear whether or not they were white or brown.

"He spent a very long time in the cereal isle," contends claims-adjuster Duncan Federline. "I kept waiting for him to move onto another isle, but he just stayed there. Eventually I had to go elsewhere myself. I mean, it's fun enough to just spend all day watching one of my most favorite celebs, but I got kids to feed, and they're not going to have any food unless I finish shopping at this here grocery store."

Later on, soce purchased some ice cream.

Interestingly enough, he did not end up using a shopping cart, instead piling a few goods into a hand-held basket. At the checkout line, he pulled out a bunch of plastic bags from his pocket. They were all from different stores, but he was able to fit all of his groceries inside.

Meredith Clancy iReported: "I guess it's good that he did his part to help save the environment a little bit. After all, 'no trans fats' is a rule I think we should always follow. Wait, what were we talking about?" [[Editor's Note: We were very upset at Meredith's response, but we decided to keep it in nonetheless. Now, how's that for integrity!]]

Also, some other stuff happened, we think.

SHOCKING!! soce attends book-signing

2009-07-24T10:30:00.000-07:00

MONTPELIER, VT: It was with great surprise that we came across soce at a local bookstore. There was an in-store reading that night at 7pm. soce showed up at 6pm and wandered about, aimlessly. A few minutes later, he approached someone who was working near the entrance.

"Well first thing he does is he asks me, 'Hey ahhh, is there like a, ahhh, ummm a book reading tonight?' And I tells him, I says, 'Okay man, you're gonna wanna go to the back of the store and then hook a left over by the sign that points to the special events area," maintained Dean Krantz, who was running security detail that night.

He then proceeded to work his way back over there, although he cut across a few aisles instead of just going straight down the projected path. When he arrived, he could see a few others were already waiting around at the rows of chairs that were already set up. There was also a stage, presumably for the author, plus some of the authors books on display as well.

Marianella Paropel, who along with others was helping to run the special event that night told us in a super-exclusive interview: "Yeah I saw this guy, and he came over to the books that were on display. He then asked me how he could get his hands on a copy. Was he supposed to take one of these, then go all the way back to the cash registers to purchase it, then go back all the way to hear or what? I told him no, don't do that at all.

"What he needed to do was go back to the checkout line, but NOT grab any of these display copies, because they would have additional copies on the shelves behind the registers that were meant for purchase, and that way we wouldn't need to restock these display copies. That man the walked away, presumably to do what I told him to do.

"Although I will say this," she added, pausing for effect and even taking a moment to whip out her notepad and draw a sketch of a flying monkey. "Some other people actually did grab display copies. I then did have to refill the shelves before the author got up to speak. The things I do around here."

Witnesses say that after soce finally purchased his own copy of the book, he was seen sitting down in one of the chairs, not too close to the stage, but not too far away either. They believe he even went as far as to open up the book and stare intensely at the pages, turning them every few minutes. It's unclear whether he was actually reading the words on the page or just utilizing his superior acting skills in order to fool anyone nearby.

Eventually the author came over, read a passage from his book and did some q & a. Then there was the signing. Paropel had this to say about it: "Well, we didn't want any sort of mad rush to the stage, because you know how people get after they hear one of their favorite authors speak. So we have this system, you see? We pull people up, row by row. And to make sure the author gets their name right when he signs it, we ask for that person's name and then write it on a post-it that we put inside the book, on the page that includes both the book's title and the author's name.

"Normally, people just told me their names. But when soce came up, he spelled it out for me as "s-o-c-e". Which was good, because I would've probably written 'sossaeugh' if he hadn't specified. Oh, and also!!!" she sputtered out after we had already finished shutting off our tape recorder, forcing us to turn it back on, "We needed to check to make sure people had receipts to our store before letting them get their books signed. Can't just have people buying his book elsewhere and expecting us to let them sign it here! Yiikes, what is this.. the seventies??? Free love and all that crap? Don't come around here looking for no hand-out."

soce looked pretty meek while he stood in line, as though he didn't want to cause any problems. Perhaps he was trying to figure out what to discuss with the author when it was his turn. Or perhaps he was deciding whether or not to get a delicious magic bar at the bookstore's bakery or just get a leek quiche instead, followed by some fresh berries purchased from Whole Foods. Who knows.

Before he reached the front of the line, soce was seen handing off his book to someone who worked at the store. That person then handed the book to the author. soce and the author had a brief conversation. The author apparently recognized soce from previous online correspondences. He initially made the rookie mistake of calling him "So-Cheh", but soce quickly responded that most people think that's how to pronounce his name, so he is used to it, even going so far as to joke that "soce" is actually just a made-up name with a made-up correct pronunciation. As if!!!

Then they discussed some other stuff, such as the future of hip hop music, and soce went merrily on his way. Someone who followed him out of the bookstore and into the subway system [ed note: Montpelier has subways??] heard him say outloud.. "Hmm.. I normally carry my iPod or Nintendo DS with me.. but today, I have neither. If only there was something I could do to pass the time. Oh wait, I have this book I just bought. Fancy that." And then he opened up the book and read it (or perhaps simply stared blankly at the pages) until his train came. More details as we find out.

MUST READ!! soce orders hotdog

2009-07-22T11:52:00.000-07:00

BANGOR, ME -- soce was one again spotted in the street. It is believed that he slowly but surely turned his body as he was walking and diverted his direction toward a hotdog stand on the street.

He then began engaging in a mysterious dialogue with a man who could only be described as existing "inside a window". It's quite possible that soce was simply talking to himself while looking into a window. soce also spent some time looking at a sign that contained various words, and beside those words, numbers, dollar signs and other punctuation marks.

There were at least a half-dozen people gathered to witness this latest publicity stunt. Most of them were gathered directly behind this ultra popular megastar who is famous for absolutely no reason, perhaps in the hopes that they too could receive food by talking into this mysterious window.

After soce finished his brave and stirring monologue, he reached into his pocket, where he pulled out a stunning billfold. From within that wallet, he again reached in so that he could grab some green pieces of paper and a few shiny metallic circles. He then used his magical talents to make the money disappear from his hand and then travel downward, where it reappeared on the window sill.

A few minutes later, a man's hand reached out and handed soce a hotdog. The hotdog was in a bun, which was in a thin paper basket. soce walked over to a nearby counter and began grabbing napkins and condiments "as if he owned the place", according to local pharmacist Richard Rolando.

"He must've grabbed two, possibly three napkins and used a good five or so squirts of ketchup and mustard on top of the meat. Mind you, the squirts unleashed the tiny of tiniest dots, but still, he had a lot of nerve. I personally would've just fled the scene, but he stuck around, eating his hotdog until he was finished."

After consuming his meal, soce stuck around for a bit, simultaneously rubbing his stomach and looking back at the sign and window, as though he was deciding whether or not to order more food or just move on. This is the last that we've heard of the situation. If anything new happens, we'll be sure to let you know.

THIS JUST IN: soce blows nose, coughs

2009-07-21T10:03:00.001-07:00

FRANCONIA NOTCH, NH -- On exactly 8:05pm last Sunday SOCE was spotted walking down the street when he stopped, pulled a tissue out of his pocket and proceeded to blow his nose into it. He continued this many times over several minutes.

"It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen," stated Mark Bisbee (**names have been changed**). "He just kept that tissue up to his nose, sometimes folding it into smaller and smaller rectangles. The look on his face was one that resembled vague discomfort."

Just when it was believed that he was finished with this strange ritual, he turned his head to the side, raised his arm up and coughed slightly into it.

"I was astounded," Mark continued. "At first, he's doing one thing. Then, he's doing something else. I wasn't sure what he was going to do next."

Fellow onlooker Grace Shinobi agreed, "Yeah, it was really quite something. I hope he's okay. I've never seen anyone blow their nose or cough like that before."

After the nose-blowing / coughing incident, soce proceeded to walk down the street until he found a trashcan, where he promptly threw the tissue away. He looked closely at the trashcan to make sure he didn't miss when he threw it out.

"If he had missed on that throw, he probably would've bent down to pick it up. Sure, it would've gotten his hands dirty, but he's that kind of stand-up guy that he would look out for the surrounding community and make sure that his own garbage ends up in the proper place," Grace said, while licking a freshly scooped cone of ice cream.

More details on this story pending. We will do our best to keep you up to date.

soce on twitter.

2009-07-06T09:20:00.001-07:00

I have a regular twitter feed as well as one where I just give out math problems.

Man, my blog is so fun, entertaining and insightful!! This gives you the real look at what my life is really all about. Good times, yeah.

Appearing in new Sierra Mist commercial!

2009-06-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

I am there for a few seconds near the beginning!

Free Beats by Shockwave

props!!

Totally not spam

2009-06-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

Looking at this blog, would you think I am a spambot? Well, I'm totally not. I am a real person. Please believe me!!! I have like a million websites, but they're all fun. I write for stuff, and I do stuff, and other stuff. I also like to leave comments on other people's sites. We have fun. Aight, peace.

Rock the Space

2009-06-03T17:34:00.001-07:00

Something

2009-05-27T07:41:00.001-07:00

I still do stuff.. at times.. on the radio, video, tv miracles, see these lyrical pills, it sounds spiritual,

Healthy like spirulina, I keep it cleana than I used to, no longer with the misdemeanors, I shine like listerene or

Dental floss.. Really.. whatever gets across, I'm set to toss it off a cliff. I don't fret a loss--

It's always good to change. I could behave. I'm through with rage. So busy, I usually lose a page.

Upcoming shows

2009-03-06T08:56:00.000-08:00

Here's where you can spot me.. soon. For more info, please go to my my myspace website:

http://www.myspace.com/soce

Mar 12 2009 7:00P
Asian American Writer’s Workshop @ The Workshop New York, New York

Mar 20 2009 8:30P
9 Famous Irishmen @ Gotham City Improv New York, New York

Mar 25 2009 7:00P
Math Bee @ Chelsea Marketplace New York, New York

Mar 27 2009 8:00P
Five Points Variety Show @ Silk Road Place New York, New York

Mar 30 2009 8:00P
Recess at B Bar!! New York, New York

Apr 1 2009 8:00P
Shrink @ Otto’s Shrunken Head New York, New York

Apr 5 2009 1:00P
VCU ICF Richmond, Virginia

Apr 14 2009 8:00P
UG! COMEDY SHOW!! @ Underground Lounge New York, New York

Apr 15 2009 7:30P
Switzerland Neutral Comedy @ The Tank New York, New York

Apr 28 2009 9:00P
The Jake Seymour Telethon @ Ochi's Lounge New York, New York

May 3 2009 8:00P
The Carly Simon Comedy Hour @ Jazz on the Park!! New York, New York

soce shows in November, 2008!

2008-11-01T22:28:00.001-07:00

How random is that! As a performer, there are times when I do lots of shows, and then none at all. But here's the deal for this one week:

Nov 12 2008 9:00P
Matt Little’s Big Show @ Under St. Marks Theater New York, New York

Nov 14 2008 9:00P
Zonie’s Closet(Illusions VI) Indianapolis, Indiana

Nov 15 2008 8:00P
Matthew Fish Book Release Party Bloomington, Illinois

Nov 17 2008 8:00P
Trivariety @ Lucky Cheng’s New York, New York

Nov 18 2008 7:30P
Ivy League Comedy @ Penn Club New York, New York

Nov 19 2008 7:00P
Math Bee @ Chelsea Marketplace New York, New York

If you live near Indianapolis, IN or Bloomington, IL, then definitely please come out! Because I don't do shows there often! If you have any questions about any shows, please hit me up! For more information, please go to my myspace page:

http://www.myspace.com/soce

I have a new song up there! It's got lots of chord changes, features singing, bass and electric guitar by yours truly, acoustic guitar by Chris Fuller and no rapping! It's actually a serious soce song!

FYI the Penn Club show is basically a private event for Penn Club members, but you should definitely make plans to come to any and all of the other shows!!!

I interview comedians for The Apiary!!!

2008-10-10T13:18:00.000-07:00

It's so much fun! I love it! They generally publish my interviews once every other week. You can read them all right here:

http://www.socetew.com/theapiary.html

Enjoy! Please leave some comments :-) More coming soon!!!!!!! If you think you're an interesting comedian, or you have interesting comedian friends, and you've never really been featured in the apiary before (except maybe in a small news blurb, but never a full-blown article), then hit me up! Maybe we will do the old one-two interview together! Yeah!!!!!

soce wins Sirius Shade 45 gay hip hop battle

2008-08-21T07:26:00.000-07:00

What?? Yes. It's true. Read and listen here:

The Apiary's article
Out Hip Hop's article
Amnesia Sparkles

So that was fun. I'm looking forward to returning some day and just chillin. Hopefully more big things soon. Also, I'll be posting up the entire season of the gayest rap show ever real soon.

soce Midwest Mini-Tour in May!!!

2008-04-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

Yeah!!! I am super excited about going on tour in May!!!! I would love for you to come to one of the shows if you live in the area!!!

Thursday, May 8
8pm
Opening up for Scream Club
Melody Inn
3826 N Illinois St
Indianapolis, Indiana
http://www.myspace.com/kuntcollective

Friday, May 9
8pm
Opening for Pressure Comedy
6318 North Clark Street
Chicago, Illinois
http://www.myspace.com/bubbamuski

Saturday, May 10
8pm
Homocore Minneapolis Show
Featuring soce, TORI FIXX, nancy drew crew and eddie f
Zombie House
Minneapolis, Minnesota
http://www.myspace.com/homocore

Sunday, May 11
8pm
Featuring soce, Hey There Cowboy, Tori Fixx, Nancy Drew Crew
Pi Bar
2532 25th Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota
http://www.myspace.com/mplspi

I believe most shows have around a $5 cover.

When a server says, "Anything else?"...

2007-10-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

I used to get a little upset when I put in my order, and my server said "Anything else?" or "Is that all?"

I would think, "What, that's not enough? You want me to order more??"

But I've come to the realization that for the most part, servers don't care how much you order. What they really want to know is if they can go ahead and enter in your order, or if you need more time. It can be a huge pain if they leave you and then you have to flag them down to give them a longer order or if they ring you up in the register, and then they have to ring you in all over again because you added some additional items.

So they're not necessarily saying "that's it?? you're so cheap!" They're generally saying, "Is it okay if I go ahead and enter in your order, or are you should I wait for you to decide what else you're thinking of getting?"

good times

Love,
soce

How badly do you want it???

2007-05-17T06:52:00.001-07:00

There are certain things in our life that we must have, such as food, water and rest, and we need to make an active effort to acquire them. However, there are other less dire but possibly more emotionally resonant desires that fill our brains with thoughts of hope, anticipation, anxiety and despair.

It's interesting though because many of these items or situations we're hoping for are nice, but not always ultimately necessary, and when we get what we want, we're not always very satisfied. So sometimes it pays to slow down and enjoy the moment.. to decide that whether or not we achieve the desired result, things will simply work themselves out.

I find that certain people, tv shows, corporations, stores etc etc will end up bonding with me, and others won't. You can sort of tell in advance who's going to make the connection, but you can never be positive until you've given it a shot.. Sometimes they won't be able to give you what you initially wanted, but your relationship with them may have unexpected positive outcomes.. For instance, you may end up finding another person, tv show, corporation, store etc through the first one, and that may lead to other opportunities and so on.

I know that it's very easy to get caught up in the moment and want to have everything right now, today, this instant, but sometimes you're just going to have to wait and see what happens. When it finally does, hopefully it'll be everything you've always wanted it to be.

Love,
soce, the elemental wizard

soce CDs in stores all over the world!!!

2006-12-07T10:00:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that many of you know that you can purchase soce CDs online or download them from iTunes, as well as directly from me-- as a side note, if you purchase them directly from me, I throw in free stickers and cards as well, plus I'll be more than happy to autograph them if you request--

But did you know that you can also purchase them DIRECTLY IN STORES!!! So for all of the people who are afraid to shop online or don't have their own credit cards, now is your chance to grab a piece of me!!!

Just ask for me by name.. soce, the elemental wizard. And here are the UPC codes for my two albums:

I'm in My Own World
634479685125

The Lemonade Incident
837101094221

Right now, I am on Super-D One Stop distribution. This all may seem kind of confusing, but basically all you have to do it:

Go to the store.
Ask for them to special-order my CD.. show them my name, the CD title and the UPC code.
If they're having trouble finding it in their database, tell them that I am on Super-D One Stop distribution.
Pay them the money for the CD.
Come back a few days later and viola, you have a brand new soce CD, with no internet purchasing involved!!

There are thousands of stores across the world that can special order my CDs using Super-D One Stop distribution. If you would like to buy my CD, please let me know where you live, and I will give you the full list of stores in your area / state / country. Remember, you probably WILL NOT find my CD sitting on the shelves... So you will need to go to the cashier and ask them to special-order it for you.

I know it sounds totally confusing, but other people have already done it (and I have gotten $$ from Super-D for their purchases), so I'm positive that it works!!!

thanks again,
see ya 'round,
soce

ho boy it's time for another soce conversation

2006-11-17T09:41:00.000-08:00

"hi"
"how's it going"
"i'm great"
"that's awesome"

"you're great too"

"thanks!"

"why are we talking"

"because one of soce's friends told him that he likes when soce of that people or other such things have talk with each other and all that"

"okay, k-e-w-l"

"this conversation has amazing plot"

"i wish all of soce's posts were conversations"

"i hate politics"

"meh too"

"i hate a lot of stuff"

"that rulez"

"yeah.. heh heh"

"y r u laughing"

"cuz you are so generic"

"yeah, that does it 4 me 2"

"i like kissing"

"nice"

"want a soda?"

"okay sure"

*pop* *fizzzzz.....*

"yeah that was great"

"i like lemon soda"

"does that even exist"

"yeah, i think so"

"this conversation is long"

"yeah but it hasn't really gone anywhere"

"i wonder if it contains any zingers"

"yeah who knows"

"stop saying yeah"

"you shut up, jerk"

"ha ha you said 'up-jerk'"

"okay and what does that mean"

"idk"

"ftw!"

"lol"

"bye"

hey.. I'm just tryin ta make ya happy :-)

love always,
soce

2006-11-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

Ayo this is how I normally advertise myself:

"Please come to my live shows.. they are listed on my myspace page! Also, please buy my CDs from CD Baby or download my music from iTunes! I also have soce t-shirts for sale!!

And here is how I would advertise myself if I were using the well-known "shock and surprise" method, combined with the "have nothing to do with your product" method that tv advertisers seem to love to pull off these days:

SHOT of a man running down the street being chased by five deadly black attack dogs.

FLASH PAN of him crossing a busy intersection.

He JUMPS onto the hood of a car and leaps off into a flip.. The car CRASHES into another car, with a huge screeching of breaks and smashing and breaking of glass.
Man RUNS UP STAIRS. Cool visuals of the staircase.

Pulls into apartment. His mom YELLS at him:

"HOW COULD YOU FORGET YOUR LUNCH!! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!!!"

"I'm sorry mom, I've just been under a lot of pressure lately."

His mom yells more (the yelling is what you'll remember):

"YOU BETTER NOT FORGET AGAIN OR I'M GONNA KICK YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE."

The man turns and JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW, dodging clothes lines and laundary on his way down.

Somehow he lands on his feet and into a CROUCH.

There is an EXPLOSION.

He looks down at the ground, and then he looks up at you, the viewer.

He SMILES and says, "Do you know.."

Do you know..

Do you know what

RELEVANT

Relevant

relevant

material

Material

MATERIAL

is???

The screen goes black.

What is RELEVANT MATERIAL???

Find out now at

RelevantMaterial.com

What's up with GRANOLA???

2006-08-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

Seriously, why does it seem so healthy, but it's not??? I mean, it's got whole grains and oats and all that, but it also seems to be completely loaded with a whole lotta fat and sugars! What a let-down! But I still eats it all the time! Cuz I doesn't knowws any bettas!!!

Righteous Anger

2006-04-19T11:54:00.000-07:00

At some point in life, someone will do something that will make you so upset, you'll just want to give that person a piece of your mind. Before you do however, maybe think it over. I know that you want to lambaste that person until he cowers, hugging your knees and begging for apology.

But it is just as likely that he will get angry at your accusation and yell right back at you, making things worse. Or, if he is hyper-sensitive like me, he will mope about the rest of the day, crying about it on the inside and whining to all his friends about how someone scolded him.

This person was probably NOT out to annoy you, and you'll probably never see him again, so why engage in an unhappy dispute? Why not use that same energy to bestow a compliment upon an unsuspecting stranger instead? There's already plenty of negativity in this world, but there's never enough love being casually tossed around.

Let's all spread some more love.

Don't Call Me. Ever.

2006-02-28T10:07:00.000-08:00

Ha ha ha.. Don't confuse obnoxious with truthful, aight? While others come across as overly friendly, but end up being lame, I try to come across as pragmatic and hope that you can see the love that lies beneath.

There are two things I love doing.. exchanging emails and hanging out with my friends and hot guys. I am not really into talking with people on the phone. It's a conversation that never really begins or ends. I used to think that I sucked at it because I was shy, but now I realize that it's because most of the time, I don't have anything to say.

With email, you can hit someone up any time about anything. It can be long or short, and that person can answer you whenever s/he wants. You can go back and forth or not.. 'sall good.

When I'm on a date, I've clearly set aside a portion of my life to spend with this person. We do things together, we look at each other a lot, maybe we flirt, it's a lot of fun.

But when the phone rings, I'm always in the middle of doing something else. I'm either at work, so it's awkward to talk about personal stuff, or I'm at home, and I'm trying to eat supper or work on music or animation, and I'm not in the mood for talking. Sometimes I will be lying on the couch, and I'll call someone, but then THEY'RE usually out with their friends or eating dinner or so on. It's difficult, and it rarely works out.

The only people I really enjoy conversing with on the phone are my family and close friends. We're so close that we can jabber on and on about pretty much anything, and it's fun and exciting. I love everyone else, but if they live in NYC, then I'd rather just hang out face to face.. and if they live far away, then I'd rather just stick with emails.

The phone is best for organizing events.. "where are you?" "I'm on 40th and Lex." "Hey, are you free on Monday?" "No, Tuesday is best." "Okay." and so on.. not as much for "What's new in your life?" "Um... where to begin...?" ha ha ha

So remember, I do love you!!! In fact, by laying out a proper framwork, I'm making it easier for you to love me in ways I will appreciate the most. And of course, as with everything I say, there are plenty of exceptions to this rule.. nothing's written in stone. I'm curious.. maybe do many of you feel the same way? Or just the other introverts?

take care,
love, soce

My SECOND music video!!!

2006-02-06T09:01:00.000-08:00

Yay!!

http://www.greathiphop.com

Please show it to all of your friends and have them show it to all of their friends and so on and so forth!!

diet tips

2006-01-17T12:23:00.000-08:00

Here are some things I've come up with or heard elsewhere:

Only eat when you're hungry. I have a pretty small appetite.. generally restaurants have huge servings, so I have no problem with using the doggie bag a lot. I find that once I'm no longer hungry, I eat much, MUCH slower, and suddenly every bite is a huge struggle. At that point, it's just not worth eating any more.. better to save it for later, when I'm hungry again.
Drink plenty of water. It's good for you, and it makes you less hungry. Don't go crazy on the water, but well a few glasses throughout the day.. unless you're of course trapped on the highway, walking through a rich neighborhood or anywhere else where you'll have a hard time finding a place to pee.
Exercise. I like to take plenty of walks throughout the week. The best time for some cardio is right when you wake up.. it makes your whole day so much better. Plus you'll be hungrier, and you'll get to eat more, yay! You'll have air in your blood, and your metabolism will be higher.
Try some fruits and vegetables. They are our friends! Give them a shot! Just a few at first.. maybe more later!
Go easy on sweets and fats. Treat yourself, but don't go crazy. Like, you could have a slice of triple choco molten lava death cake, but then maybe don't follow it up with a milk shake. Sweets should be something really special, so if you have them all the time, then you're just eating them and not enjoying them.

So that's the gist of it. Eating should be a celebration. Something you do to enjoy and love. Variety of food groups, healthy food.. don't just eat for the sake of eating-- it's good to eat throughout the day in small portions, as long as you're eating healthy things (like don't snack on cookies or candy but try veggies or fruits)-- so that way you're never crazily starving and gorge yourself.

I'm definitely not perfect or anything, but sometimes I think people want to make changes in their life-- they're just not sure where to start, and it can seem like a huge deal when its not. word--

love, soce

What makes someone hot?

2005-12-05T09:46:00.000-08:00

I'm often curious about this myself, because it was like a big step for me to decide that I'm into men and not women. But then I feel like it was almost an even bigger step for me to come out as being into larger men ha ha!! Gays across the world look at me like, "What??"

But yeah I'm intrigued because while I'm definitely into all sorts of guys, and I don't have any particular type--there are some normal and/or small guys I'm totally into as well--80%-90% of the time, I'll be into guys who fall in the 180lbs-280lbs range, give or take a bit... So it's a little weird for me, because I'm only ~150lbs, so I probably wouldn't date myself if I somehow saw myself out in the streets...

Anyway it always weirds me out how two people can look at the same person, and one's jaw will totally drop, while the other won't give a second glance. It's not as big of a surprise when I'm w/ a straight friend, and he gets all googly over a hot woman and I don't, but it never fails to make me laugh a lil bit when I'm w/ a gay friend and he looks at a skinny dude and starts gasping and fawning. I'm like, "Man, what's wrong with you?" and he's like, "Yo, what's wrong with YOU!!"

Nothing is wrong with either of us.. I just don't fully understand.. I mean some people like horror films, and some prefer comedies... Some like chicken and others prefer soy products-- tacos vs masaman curry-- democrat vs republican... I guess taste in people somehow seems more personal because my heart rarely does flips over the food I eat. Like, I may claim that the macaroni and cheese I had last night was "as good as having sex", but at the same time, I don't lay in bed at night fantasizing about macaroni and cheese. But maybe I should.....

New Superhero: Shirtless Man!!!

2005-12-02T09:51:00.000-08:00

Hey what's up. I was walking down the street this morning, and I saw some dudes holding up a corner store. Being the brave fellow that I am, I strolled into the store, ripped off my shirt, tie and white tee and cried out, "There's no need to fear! Shirtless man is here!!!"

"Look out for my super powers!!"

"Stunning good looks!!"

"Powerful deoderant!"

"Nipples of steel!!!"

Needless to say, the crooks handed back the money and ran off. The store owner was all like, "Oh thank you shirtless man, but you know the rules... no shirt, no shoes, no service.. please leave."

Yay!

2005-08-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in here forever!! Let's see.. there's exciting things going on in all sides of my life. Work, music, play, friends, guitar, myspace, lj, t-shirts, photography, piano, violin.. man.. I like making lists.

I've been having really active dreams lately, so that means that my mind is on the move again. I even had a dream last night where I was eating all of these delicious cookies, cakes and brownies.. and that almost never happens!!! Usually, I see a tray full of them, and then the moment I start eating them, I wake up. But this time, my mind actually let me experience the delicious taste of them. It's funny.. when I was dreaming, I was like "Oh, all this sugar and fat.. it's bad for me!" But then when I woke up, I was like, "Yay! I got to experience the great taste of baked goods without intaking any actual calories, lol!"

love,
soce

New Post!

2004-12-01T13:26:00.000-08:00

Wow, bet you find that pretty exciting. Let's see. How 'bout a game:

1) Touch your nose.
2) Touch your toes.
3) Wiggle your pinky.
4) Hop up and down on one foot.

5) Now, run around 4 blocks, making sure you only take LEFT turns.

6) Shake your fist in the air.

7) I hope you've printed this out, right? You can't be sitting at your computer while you do this.

8) Finally, crouch down. Down to the ground. And then count to 7. Then leap, Leap, LEAP high, high up into the air!!

Congratulations! You've become a kid again!

Repeat as necessary.

til next time,
forever yours,
love, soce

soce MUSIC VIDEO!!!

2004-08-25T06:33:00.000-07:00

Hey!! This is my first ever music video. Enjoy!!

http://www.socetew.com/sad.htm

Please tell your friends!

yours, soce

I have no life.

2004-08-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

I was sad at the idea of putting comments on Matt's blog as "Anonymous", so I just went and got my own blog. But I probably won't post to it too much because I have like a million other blogs and websites out there. Even so, I have no life.